Showing posts with label dating tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating tips. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Dating Ideas To Help You Find Your Soul Mate

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Courting ideas enable you in passing by way of your date pretty smoothly. The guidelines usually make it easier to out in not getting into embarrassing situations and in return ruining your date. Males are known to be emotional rocks and so they pretend to be powerful in entrance of others. In an effort to be sturdy they get the title of being insensitive. In reality women and guys those who go on dates randomly discover themselves lonely as they're unable to create an eternal reference to anyone. Thus to beat all these you will want to go through the relationship ideas supplied to you. These tips will make it easier to connect better along with your mate.

The dating ideas not only help you to find the correct connection but additionally put a better impression on your date. It's always stated that the primary impression is the last impression. If you are occurring a primary date just be sure you put on applicable garments and look good. Nowadays appears to be like matter the most. This is likely one of the most essential courting tips. This tip goes that will help you in creating an ideal impression in your date. Impressions are every part and if you happen to fail to create a very good impression then you might be spoiling your date.

The opposite vital tip is that in the course of the initial section you need not lay emphasis on romance. It's not about finding a perfect soul mate for you proper in the beginning. It is about finding a good friend first. Romance isn't what's shown within the movies. But it is like finding connections between one another and figuring out one another well. After establishing good friendship between one another you can logically move forward to the following steps. It is mentioned that shifting step by step lets you create a long-lasting and strong relationship.

The other essential and most vital dating tips are to be followed when you are on a date. Always during the date you should try and create a healthy conversation. It is usual in a date to talk more about themselves. You should try and create a conversation. For a conversation you need to talk and also try to listen. Small and interesting stories should be shared during a date. For sharing stories you both need to speak. The more you both speak the more closer you get to know each other. One of the other vital dating tips is for men. No matter what the condition is you should always behave like a gentleman. As in today's world a simple sorry and thank you is regarded as the most precious thing in a human being. So these manners are what separate you from others. So try and behave like a gentleman.

These dating tips would certainly help you in going through your date successfully and also will help you in creating a good bonding between you and your mate. Follow these dating tips well to get a perfect date and get closer to find your soul mate.

What Do Women Really Want From Men

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I supposed this question has been in existence ever since the time the human race first set foot on planet Earth. Some men even spend their entire lives trying to figure out what girls really want, and this is especially true if they are dating or even have been married for years and yet are at a loss over this perplexing question.

Are girls that really hard to understand? Is this the reason why some people think that women are from Venus and men came from Mars? There are so many theories and concepts to justify this phenomenon, but many of these theories are in conflict with each other making the question even more perplexing.

The mainstream thinking is that women demand utter compliance and respect from their guys and thus many men play subservient roles to please their women so that they can be accepted. However, many of these men seem to get rejected by those they are trying hard to please and are being dumped when playing this subservient role. On the other hand, those supposedly "bad boys" who seem somewhat a little cocky and wouldn't give a heck to women seem to have girls climbing all over them. What on earth is happening here?

Well, many years of studying the whims of the fairer sex, I have made up some of my own conclusions as to what really women want from men. Let's put it this way, just imagine what nature created us to be which is women are feminine and men are masculine. Duh? Let me elaborate.

First, let me ask you a question. When you think of masculine men, who are those who come to your mind? Brad Pitt, Jean-Claude Van Damme , Arnold Schwarzenegger or even Batman? Okay, I am stretching your imagination a wee bit here, but you do get the picture.

Like it or not, girls are psychologically programmed to adore the classic strong and confident man. Men who have leadership characteristics, who can kick butts when they need to and yet are gentlemanly and who can protect their women. This gives the ladies a wonderful sense of security and warmth.

I don't mean that you should go out picking fights and beat up other guys. The days of bringing home the enemy's scalp for home or rather cave decorations are just not the in ting anymore. We are not savages of the past. All you need to do is to portray that you can give your woman warmth and security, able to bring home the bacon and are respected socially is enough to turn any woman on.

An example as to how you can show this masculine attribute is to become a decision maker. Do not ask women out for dates by asking what they want to do or like to do. Just take the lead and decide where you want to go and what you want to do, then simply invite her along. Sometimes you don't even need to tell her your plans. Keep a little mystery and get the sexual tension up and she will be very excited about the night out with you.

Show women that you are in charge and she will let you take charge. Show women that you are only out to please her and she will think of you as a wimp and that is not being very masculine, isn't it?

Women also need to have social proof to confirm that you are a well liked and are well respected by your peers. If other people can respect you, then you are certainly respectable to her. So if others think that you are an awesome guy, then it must be awesome indeed!

This is especially so if other girls are enjoying your company and think that you are a great guy to be with. She you take it as an endorsement by other girls that you will make a great mate and she will be lapping up to you even more. So go and mix with the girls and you will attract even more of them.

Another thing that you should know is to make yourself appealing to her emotion, not her logic. Women want men to make them feel good and comfortable. Her primitive instinct is that she will spend the rest of her life with you and if the you cannot feel good and secured, then the rest of her life with you will be a miserable one.

So make women laugh frequently because laughter makes people produce more endorphin which is a feel good hormone which is also produced when people are having sex and if you are able to do that, you will come across as being very sexy indeed.

So when you are able to communicate on an emotional level with women, you will definitely be much more successful with them.

So what do girls really want from men? The answer is actually very simple. They want men who can take charge, who are confident and can make decisions and men who can provide them warmth, security and emotional connection. In other words, women want to be with masculine men, the confident alpha male. Are you up to the mark?

Great Ways To Keep Your Relationship New And Exciting


Does it seem as if your partnership is turning into an old shoe? Always there and always comfortable though it is, how do you add a little polish? It's one thing to be strong and pass the test of time; it's quite another to keep things fresh and exciting. You need to perk up your relationship with a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner. Broadening your communication is the key. You'll both find that freshening up your relationship will have pleasant repercussions from the breakfast nook to the bedroom.

You have chosen to spend your life with your partner, shouldn't your lives be interesting, fun, even zesty? Fulfillment in a relationship is every couple's goal. Here are a couple of things you might give a whirl. None may be your cup of tea, but the inspiration is there. Use your own imagination. The basic premise is finding new ways to enjoy each others company.

Take a stroll. Don't be put off. There's a lot to be said for walking. Add your significant other as your walking companion and there's a whole lot more to be said for it. A walk on a beautiful sunny morning is a great way to jump start the body and the mind. Even a walk on a rainy morning can be fun and surprising. Or, if the stars are peeking through the curtains and the dishes are done, a walk can ease the tensions of the day and make yourselves ready for a good night's sleep. You might develop a pattern or you just might start to take walks whenever the mood strikes.

Walking with your significant other does so many things on so many different physical, mental, and even spiritual levels. You may walk briskly, punctuating the pace by tossing ideas at each other. You may walk slowly and speak in long and measured tones. There are no rules. The thing about walks is that they are something you two can share alone, without any hassles or planning, a time for reconnection. Yes, you built the house, raised the kids, took in family, entertained friends together. Now you need to put those things in perspective. You did those things because it pleased you both. Get away so you can stand back, see what goodness you have built, and figure out ways to improve on those things so that your time together continues to be fresh and exciting. And, your own porch light is always on.

Get out a deck of cards. Don't be put off. There's a lot to be said for card playing. Add your significant other and there's a whole lot more to be said for it. Like a walk, card playing can stimulate the brain. Playing cards is fun in itself. Also, playing cards is not so engrossing that it forestalls thoughtful conversation.

Why do you think there's a plethora of bridge, canasta and poker clubs? Because the games are fun and they make being with others that much more fun. It's a very social activity. The games bring an agility to your mind that could help you both see your mutual challenges in new ways. Or, sometimes watching how your partner plays his or her hand will give you some insights to how their brain operates. You will get to know each other so much better than just sitting together, alone with your separate books or newspapers.

Taking a walk, playing a few hands of cards, these seem so mundane, so unexciting. Well, basically that's true. But really, they're not. They allow you time alone, they allow some time for your physical, mental and spiritual selves to commune again on a very basic level. That is so important to a relationship.

There are other activities you can share with no one else having to be there. A stroll through a museum. Time at an arcade. (Even if you think you're too old for such nonsense.) Go to a fair and win a bear at a bean bag toss. Play a hand of cards. Take a walk. The simplest things are often the best things for young lovers of any age.

5 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Healthy After Moving In Together

Moving in with anyone is a big commitment to make, and the first few months can be testing, but our dating experts have put together a few tips to keep your relationship healthy and happy when you move in with your partner.

Talk
It sounds obvious, but it can be easy to go days or even weeks without properly talking to your partner. If you're struggling to talk about the small stuff in your relationship, discussing your feelings can be nigh on impossible, but bottling them up will only lead feelings of distance and resentment in your relationship.

To combat this, start by making time for each other every day. Dinner time provides a great opportunity to focus on your partner. Rather than eating with your plate on your lap in front of the TV, sit down at the table and talk about your day. Doing this regularly will help promote closeness within your relationship and make it easier to talk about serious issues when needs be.

Help each other out
Clearly no one likes doing chores, but unfortunately we all have to do them and they can be a serious bone of contention when you live with someone. Feeling like you are always the one who cleans the bathroom or washes the dishes sounds like a small gripe, but you�d be surprised how many people with otherwise happy relationships fall out over something so easily avoided.

To avoid world war three breaking out, make a list of everything you need to do and set aside time each day to do your chores together. Not only will you have a healthier relationship, but you'll also have a cleaner home.

Make an effort
It may sound a little 1940's housewife, but there's a lot to be said for a slick of lip gloss or the occasional shave. Moving in together inevitably takes away some of the excitement of seeing your partner in their underwear, but it needn't be all paint splattered jogging bottoms and spaghetti stained t-shirts.

Try to keep making the same level of effort you did when you first began your relationship. Not just appearance wise, but in your behaviour, too. Holding your partner's hand as you walk together or giving them a shoulder rub after a hard day can provide the vital intimacy needed to keep your relationship strong and stop you feeling more like siblings than lovers.

Date
It's common for people to stop dating once they move in together, but regularly dating or introducing a 'date night' can keep the spark alive in your relationship and give you opportunities to put many of the above tips into play.

You don't have to think of any wild ideas, just eating at a restaurant you haven't been to before, sampling some delicious cocktails or checking out the latest blockbuster can all be enjoyable activities to do with your partner and provide an excellent talking point.

Keep your bad habits in check
If you've moved in with a partner before, you'll know that it doesn't take long for that cute little thing your partner does to turn into an annoying habit that drives you up the wall, but newsflash. They're not the only one with irritating tendencies.

The only way to prevent this damaging your relationship is to get it out in the open. Pick a time when you're both feeling calm and receptive to give feedback, and try to keep your words and tone as neutral as possible. Playing the blame game won't get you anywhere and your partner is likely to come back with a not so complimentary assessment of your behaviour. Once you've aired your feelings, agree a compromise on said behaviour and stick to it.

There's No Substitute For Appreciation In A Relationship

You have a partner that you planned to stay with your whole life. Are you doing your best to sustain that relationship? Would you honestly be able to say you've given it your all? Should the relationship take a bomb dive would you not feel any guilt or regret when you swear none of the dials on the control panels indicated an imminent wreck? Who wants to take the blame for the flaming wreckage of a relationship?

Who wants to be the blame for not building a strong and loving togetherness. Indeed, like Caesar and Cleopatra, some relationships are destined to fail. And this can be due to some mighty extenuating circumstances. But, just a basic level of understanding and respect can thwart the majority of partnership failures. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a relationship, and how these can be stimulated to grow into an even more exciting togetherness, is the basic need here.

To reflect on a relationship you have to figure out exactly what it is that you have. Don't start out with a list of what your relationship isn't. That's a set-up for sabotage. Find the good things. For instance, some diners can ruin a great dinner because mints weren't served afterward. So, appreciate what you have each particular blessing. Root them out, they may be hard to find, but they're there. And they may be hard to find because you don't really appreciate what you already have. And like a few parched seeds, these positive things in your life hold the promise of ever more blooms after every drought.

Health. Are your trips to the doctor few and far between? How about your significant other? Do you enjoy ease of mobility? Are you both comfortable on a nature trail or on the beach? Do you have to inject insulin everyday? Do you have to go to the hospital every so often to get your blood cleaned? If you or your partner don't have to deal with any of these issues, you are truly blessed.

Status. One day take a stroll to the nearest busy park. Take a seat and watch the people pass. You are going to see an expanse of human experience. You will see those who are better than yourselves in socioeconomic terms, and worse off than yourselves, too.

Watching this stream of humanity will give you things to think about as far as where you want to go and what you want to avoid. It will help you discern who needs help. Remember, you have no real equals, there are only those who are better off than you are and worse off than you are. You are your own guide.

Possessions. If you find yourselves lucky enough to live in a comfortable dwelling, and this is subjective, take the time to appreciate it. Look around the world. A fine mud hut overlooking a lagoon can be the symbol of having arrived as much as a condo on top of a skyscraper overlooking the Hudson in New York City. Mud hut or condo, appreciate what you have. Relax, hold your lover in your arms and enjoy what you have built together.

Accomplishments. What have you done with your life so far? How is your significant other holding up in life's endeavors? If you are an auto mechanic or a poet, a businessman or a restauranteur, you have the privilege of knowing you've contributed in your own small way to the machinations of this wonderful world. What's nice is that the more positive things you do in life, the more positive things that will be reflected back onto you. Appreciation is itself an art. Learn how to appreciate well and you will become well appreciated. By yourself, by your partner, by your world. Especially by your partner.

Don't Let A Winning Relationship Drift Apart


Something's not quite right. An uneasy sort of dissatisfaction with your partner, with your relationship, is fluttering around the corners of your mind. A sort of malaise clouds your view and a sort of depression accompanies it. This is definitely a problem. If this is allowed to grow, you'll find your body getting out of sorts, too. You need a paradigm shift. A new way to sort through your life and appreciate it for what it is truly worth. A new way that will help you appreciate your significant other, who has helped you get to where you are today.

Every life has its negatives. The power goes out. The street floods. Friends move away. Why focus on the negative? Candles are nice. The world is so fresh smelling after a rain. You make new friends. Your life turns; your relationship with your significant other turns, too. Focus on the good turns. It's not easy.

Sometimes the bad seems so much more overwhelming compared to the good. You do have to put your mind to the good. Sometimes it is easiest to start out with small matters, matters close at hand. Something as silly as the blooming plants that you and your significant other gathered and potted last weekend, perhaps. There's success. They way you both held forth at the bridge game last week. There's success. Or something similar. Good lives are made of lots of small good things. Like children.

Children are lovely little treasures that you and your significant other made. They are growing into fine young folks. Of course, raising them is a bit more complex than planting geraniums. It took working together to make them what they are, teamwork to make them worthy and lovable souls. You and your partner may be drifting apart, but at one point you were a strong team. You depended on each other for so much that is so beneficial, so beautiful. Focus on that dependence that was actually a new way of being free. You always had each others back and that was a new kind of strength.

Just as your children are a testament to your joy in each other, look to the friendships you two have formed together. Whether it's a tight circle or a large group, it's a fantastic support resource you have built together. Bringing in friends that reflect your individual personalities is a way you came to know each other better in surprising new ways. They may be quirky, funny, odd, but friends are joys in your lives. If nothing else, they allow you to have something mutual to roll your eyes about, to chuckle over, even behind their backs.

Even in the best of relationships, things may seem to grow old or tired. And sometimes 'what ifs' and 'how comes' become too much of a focus. If things seem to be getting old, well, they're not. You may feel bored, but you'll be surprised. Look hard and you will see things are changing, and change is good. Don't abandon something just because it's changing. Take pride in the fact that you have shepherded it so well and so long. Your partner really is beautiful or you wouldn't have stayed around this long. Your partner is someone to be proud of, or you wouldn't have stuck around so long.

No long partnership is ever a failure. Again, look at all the small good things around you. It's all made up of some pretty beautiful stuff that's a testament to the worthiness and loveliness of you both. It sounds so trite when it is said aloud, 'Count your blessings.' But, do. From the smallest to the largest, count them. When you wake up in the morning, when you can't fall asleep at night, count them. And, if it suits you, figure out ways to enlarge them or build upon them. Your partner will love helping you change together, because you've been so successful together already. And, changing can be loving, too.

10 Techniques For Relationship Tightening In 5 Minutes


If you are worried about your married life or realize that it is boring, we have 10 techniques that you can do easily just 5 minutes a day to help tighten you and your partner's relationship. Then your sweet day comes back again for your long love and relationship.

Send e-mail to each other: This is the easy and fast way to tell your feeling to the one you love to tell how you are satisfied or pleased of whatever he did for you. For example, you may tell him that you really love the way he helps you do housework and tell that without him you couldn't finish things in time, etc. Surely he'll be proud and also pleased to help you next time.

Say love by mobile phone: Call him or send him the voice mail that you love him or miss him. This is the small thing but can greatly make you and him smile all day.

Leave a short note: Don't forget to write and leave a short note for him before he goes out to work. You may put it in his bag. This definitely makes him surprised, happy, and be more energetic to work.

Sweeten your morning: Create your sweet environment in the morning by making coffee, or cooking food for your beloved. It is the start of the sweet good day.

Have lunch together: If you are not busy, you may cook the lunch by yourself and bring to surprise him at his workplace. And when he is stressful, try to ask him out for his favorite dish and then he'll be more relaxed and happier.

Help each other: You may help each other do any tasks like doing housework. Though this task belongs to the wife, but the husband may help by washing the dishes, etc. It's a basic activity but can help both of you feel happy and be more in a close relationship.

Send each other a message: After your beloved left, do not forget to sweeten your love and share the feeling of how you care him by messaging him that you miss him or tell him to take care.

Give a special gift: Buy something he wants without concerning about any reasons or occasions, and then your ordinary day becomes special.

Send an E-Card to each other: Make your day romantic or fun by sending each other an E-Card. You may tell your feeling or your memory of how happy you are being with him.

Say love every time: No matter what time or where it is, saying that you love each other is the romantic way to help both of you love each other much more and this can absolutely help tighten your relationship.

Note to realize that your beloved is the special person you should always care for and love. No matter how busy or stressful you are, try to spend at least 5 minutes a day to sweeten love to each other and your married life will not be boring but happy forever.

Unique Gift Ideas To Win A Woman's Heart


Finding unique gifts for a woman is as challenging as understanding one. Most men find it hard to select even a traditional item for a special lady, how much more if what needed is unique? So If you are a man who is looking for a unique gift for a woman, you have to exert more effort in searching and presenting the gift if you want to win her heart.

Let's discuss how do you begin. Before anything else, the first thing you need to keep in mind is the personality of your recipient. What are her likes? You have to know a few things about her so that you can think of a gift that she will appreciate. Additionally, think of her hobby, pastime, or lifestyle as these can also make sense.

Where to find unique gifts for women? It can be a bit tricky to find unique gift items for women, but the best places are antique stores and online stores. You may also look for imported items from other countries in stores that specialize such kind. By doing searching online, you don't need to leave your home just to pick up and pay for a present. There are lots of sources you can find by simply browsing the web. You can visit different websites selling goods that you may find interesting and unique, which your recipient might not yet owned.

Unique gifts may can also be romantic. Since women are naturally romantic at heart, you can think of common things that they love but present them in a unique or stylish way. You may consider a perfume in her favorite scent, filled in a perfume bottle with her engraved name or initials. Another option could be her favorite flowers organized in a nice basket with some extra items that can pamper her. Or, you may consider a personalized jewelry with her engraved name or initials. Custom charm bracelets can make unique options as well.

Consider adding a personal touch on the gift. This way, you can put distinction even if it was bought at a cheap price. You may consider adding a nice note card and handwrite it with your message for your recipient. A few personal touches can make a gift truly unique, considering the thought that you made it just for her.

Another way to come up with unique gift that she will appreciate is to think of her profession. She must be a career woman, and a right gift could mean something that she can use for her work. There are lots of work-related gift ideas that you can find in the market today. If you are looking for unique options, don't worry because there are plenty to choose from. For a career woman, you may consider unique business gifts like business tote bags with her embroidered name, engraved business card holders, monogrammed leather-bound journals, personalized desk clocks or desk picture frames, and etc. Through personalization, it is not impossible to create a unique present that sure to win a woman's heart!

Share The Path With Your Loved Ones


Do you and your significant other need a simple romantic way to bring yourselves closer? Are you not getting enough quality time together? Is it just too hard to make that time? Well, you've both got careers, you've got your families, you've got all the other little details of hectic lives that take so much time. It's hard keeping the perspective, the view that your partner needs time, too.

You each know that your success in the world isn't handed to you. You must have a plan, you must have a strategy. Short-term goals, long-term goals, both of these need a stick-to-it attitude. But, what's success without the success of your intimate relationship? As with your other 'must-do's', you've got to make space for the significant other in your life. A business client is no more important that your intimate client. A tee time for a business partner is not more important than a lunch with your life partner.

'Sharing' is the operative word when considering time together. It doesn't mean being in a place that just allows you time 'with' each other. It means sharing time together in a place where you can be with each other. An example of a place that doesn't allow you to be with each other is a movie theater.

How can a trip to the movie theater be a good place or a good way to be with each other? Think about it. Sure, you're together. But, you can't talk without getting shushed. You can't see each other. If the movie is any good, you're mind is on a subject far afield of anything having to do with your lives. So, you're basically sitting in the dark ignoring each other. That's not spending time together.

Rather than focusing on the troubles or treasures of the silver screen, you want to focus on each other. The almost perfect way to do this is excuse yourselves from whoever is sharing space with you, friends family or pets, and go for a walk. It can be a long walk, or a short walk. Let what you need from each other dictate the time you spend. You can hold hands, you can look at each other while you speak, the air is fresh, the walk itself gets the blood flowing. It's the perfect venue for togetherness.

With a walk, where you're going doesn't matter. How long you're gone doesn't matter. It focuses on the two of you and the things you need or want to talk about. Sometimes, walks can be quiet. And maybe that's important, for awhile. But, since you two obviously care about each other, talk will ensue.

Walks are easy to schedule, too. You needn't be shy about saying, "Let's go for a walk." By walking together, you're alone, whether it's a busy mall or a quiet street. You're really together. You can discuss important things, things that matter, issues that need resolution. A walk is a great way to clear the air. You're both in a relaxed place, a neutral place. There is no need for defense building, no need to fear discussing sensitive subjects.

The next time you and your significant other find yourselves in a stuffy room, and the moon is peeking through the crack in the curtains, grab his or hand and go for a walk. It's free. You don't have to be gone for a long time. In fact, you might want to set up a walk time each day. A time for the two of you alone, maybe just before or after dinner. Your bodies, your minds, and your relationship will thank you.



7 Tips To Help You Plan The Perfect Beach Wedding


Destin beach weddings are becoming more popular every year because they provide the perfect setting for a very special wedding. A Destin beach wedding is definitely one that will be very memorable and special for any couple getting married. To help you plan your perfect wedding on the beach in Florida, there are some important tips that will help you be sure that everything turns out perfect on your special day.

1. Know your budget: It is very important to planning the best wedding possible to know what your budget is. This way you can only look at Destin beach locations that are affordable. Plus, knowing how much there is to spend on all the details will make planning it go much smoother. It will also help to ensure that nothing has been forgotten or left out for your special day. Destin Weddings are popular with all brides and grooms and Destin Beach weddings are a good choice for a beach wedding.

2. Research: You need to contact the local government in Destin to learn their rules, regulations and to set a date or time for specific location. If you don't, then you could end up having your wedding with strangers on the beach interrupting things. You can also research to find a wedding package for Destin weddings.

3. Let people know the details: You need to be sure that you tell your friends and family to let them know about the wedding and all the details so they can plan accordingly and have plenty of time to do it. Don't wait until the last minute to do this because if you do, then you could end up with a lot less guests showing up than was expected.

4. Make reservations: Find a hotel near the beach where you and the members of your wedding can stay. Make enough reservations to be sure that everyone will have somewhere once they arrive. This will definitely make things run smoother.

5. Get a consultant: If it is at all possible, get a consultant to help with the wedding details. Find someone that knows the local vendors and the area because this will make it much simpler to plan the perfect Destin beach wedding.

6. Choose a theme: When having a Destin wedding, one of the fun things about it is that you can choose a theme for the wedding or have a traditional wedding. There are many themes to choose from, so find out what your options are before deciding.

7. Choose your honeymoon destination: This is a big thing to plan for any couple. By taking time to plan the perfect honeymoon destination, you will be able to relax more and enjoy your special day because you will know that even more special things are to come.

These are the most important tips to know and remember to help you plan the perfect Destin beach wedding. Don't rush through planning your wedding; instead, take time now to be sure everything is taken care of so on your special day you don't have to do anything except enjoy it.



Speaking Your Truth When It's Hard

How often do you withhold the truth from someone important to you - your partner, friend, parent, child, co-worker - because you know he or she will get angry rather than care about you?

How you do feel when you don't speak your truth about something that is important to you? It is likely that you feel depressed when you don't speak up for yourself. Not speaking up about something that is important to you is a way of ignoring your own feelings and needs, and very likely will lead to depression.

Yet, if you do speak up and someone important to you doesn't care about your feelings, then how do you feel? If you are aware of your deeper feelings, you will likely feel some loneliness and heartache when someone is angry rather than caring about what is important to you.

For example, Johnnie consulted with me because his wife, Rosemary, had spent way too much on their credit card and had put Johnnie in a difficult financial position. Johnnie knew from past experience that if he said something about it to Rosemary, she would explode at him, which would feel awful to him. Yet, by not telling Rosemary about it, he was feeling depressed.

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place," he said to me. "I don't know what to do."

"Johnnie, what do you usually do when Rosemary gets angry at you?"

"I either get angry back, or I get defensive, or I shut down. And I feel awful."

"What are the awful feelings?"

"I feel hurt that she doesn't care about how her behavior affects me. I feel sad and lonely that we can't talk things out with caring rather than with anger."

"And it seems to me that you cover these feelings up with your own anger, defensiveness, and withdrawal - is that right?"

"Yeah, I think that's right."

"What if you were to be compassionate toward your own feelings of loneliness and heartache? What if you were to give yourself the caring that you want from Rosemary? What if, when you tell her your truth and she gets angry rather than cares about you, you care about yourself, bringing lots of gentleness, kindness, tenderness, and understanding to yourself? Do you think that would help you have the courage to speak your truth?"

"Actually, that sounds good to me. I think I can do that. So what you are saying is that if I give myself the caring I need when Rosemary gets angry, then I can speak my truth rather than stay depressed and ruminate about it."

"Yes. If you know that you are going to be there for yourself rather than abandon yourself in the face of Rosemary's anger, it makes it much easier to speak your truth. As long as you allow her anger to intimidate you into keeping quiet, then you are allowing her anger to control you, which is not good for you or for her. By choosing to be loving to yourself rather than avoiding the conflict, you will feel much better, even if she explodes. Are you willing to try this regarding the credit card?"

"Yes!"

In our next session, Johnnie reported that, when Rosemary exploded as predicted, he was able to stay present and caring about himself. He was able to say everything he wanted to say, including how heartbreaking her anger was for him. He felt much better and the conflict lasted a much shorter time than usual.

Improve Your Relationship

The ideal partner, what or who is that? And what makes them this ideal partner? Certain characteristics and attributes help to make us who we are, but how to match ourselves with the right partner? You walk down the street and see those mature, happy couples who have been with each other for more than fifty years or so. They always seem to have a smile on their faces, they look healthy, they probably have each other to thank.

How do we make this happen? How do you obtain a healthy lasting relationship like that older couple? Can we also be so lucky, yes, we all can, we just need to know how to go about it. Think of what they have that others might lack in their relationship. Sometimes it is the little things that count, and I think you would have to agree with me on this one. Strengthen those bonds you already have, live a healthy, happy life together.

So, what helps to make a relationship strong? You have doubts, you have obstacles in your way like work schedules, mother-in-laws, children, etc. Start with these two key characteristics to keep or get your relationship successful: attentiveness and listening. It may seem a bit obvious to you, and incredibly easy, but they're actually critical to help maintain a healthy relationship over the years. We all fall into the trap of taking things for granted and that makes our partners feel neglected at times.

It is as simple as just listening, being there for them. And letting them know you are listening. Don't sit there and just hear them talk, listen, absorb and understand what they're saying to you. We are all human, we all drop hints about what's on our minds, what we like or dislike, etc. Pick those clues out and utilize them to your advantage.

This will help you in the lovemaking department as well. Get you in tune together and working as one, a well oiled machine. Keep in mind that we all like to be pleased and pampered, being attentive to your partners needs help make them feel just that. Make them feel like a queen or a king, it will help keep the spark and longevity in your relationship for years.

I don't claim to know it all, I am not a doctor or a scientist, but look around you, see for yourself, the people who have healthy and successful relationships tend to live longer, act and look younger and bring smiles to everyone. Being active, even sexually in your relationship is a great way to keep in shape, after all sex falls into the cardiovascular activities that will help you keep in shape.

It is a known fact that during intercourse our heart rates increase and in turn increased circulation occurs. Burning calories and fat, while we are having a great time. Keep that in mind when keeping your relationship flowing and moving towards your goal. Keeping your sex life in tune will keep you in tune, make us happier and healthier along the way. What a wonderful world it could be.

So, take a step back, do yourself a big favor, listen to your partner, listen in-between the lines, listen to what they are not saying. Keep their wants and needs, their desires in mind. Keeping a lover satisfied is a great way toward health and happiness!



The Simple Secret To A Woman's Heart

Have you ever been somewhere when you see what appears to be the most unlikely couple where maybe a physically undesirable man is with a physically desirable woman who is hanging from his arm and seems to be madly in love with him? Almost immediately the thought may run through your mind, How in the world did he get her? The answer will almost always be a simple one . . . success. This seemingly unattractive man given his physical appearance is in reality a highly desirable catch to a woman . . . because as the odds dictate, he is most likely monetarily successful.

Each passing generation of man, just like animals, passes on a recipe for success. Social Darwinism is alive and well, even in today's culture. A woman has a relatively low ceiling compared to a man when it comes to the amount of children a woman could theoretically rear or produce in a lifetime. Therefore, a woman wants the man who either is the biological father, or the man who will raise the child, to offer something uniquely separate from other men, and that is, she wants her baby or babies to have EVERY opportunity possibly offered to a person in the society. Of course this is a gross generalization of the entire gender, but most mothers number one desire in life is to have great opportunities offered to their children.

This dramatic generalized principle is important because it vastly improves an individual's perception of the world around them. It also allows men to better focus on the specific thing they want most . . . women. Women not only want a man that is successful but they most often will also accept a man who has a great potential for success. Through the lens of this perspective, so much of what men do is to attract a woman. Take for example a man who has little interest in going to college and would do just fine working an eight to five job building homes making enough to live, eat, buy man toys and support his vices. But then consider that this same man has a desire for an attractive woman and she does not consider his job as being successful and will not be attracted to him unless he goes to college. Good chance the man will go to college.

Another example can be illustrated by the true story of John and Jane. John is an all around incredible man who has so much to offer in ways of great looks, personality, morality, etc. John falls madly in love with Jane who is an equally incredible woman and desires little more than to have him marry her. The problem is, as great as she realizes he is, she for some reason cannot commit to marrying him. Well, as we could have guessed given the success principle, John's simple solution was for him to figure out his finances, get a realtor, and purchase a nice piece of real estate or a simple home in the quiet suburbs of Arizona. The home was a mental trigger of success in Jane's mind, and within a month, after two years of this man diligently trying to woo the woman, she suddenly falls madly in love with him and realized she could never live without him.

As a brief summary, women in general are deeply and instinctually attracted to a man's success, realized or potential, more than any other attribute a man may posses. As a basic applicable principle, a man buying real estate will sling shot himself up several levels in his attractiveness. The best thing a man can do is live his life in a way to be able to purchase a home.

Creative Romantic Gift Ideas: 5 Ideas For A Romantic Gift


Romance is alive and well in the world, if you know where and how to look for it. If you are in love with (or just have a crush on) a special person in your life, you may be in the mood to give them creative romantic gift.
Gift-giving is an art. Sure, anybody can just go out and buy something nice for the person they love. But, finding the right gift one that will truly inspire them and at the same time communicate the caring you feel is another matter.

Romance and Gift-Giving

Gift-giving has been a big part of romance for centuries. In many ancient societies, the giving of expensive gifts of animals or food from one family to another was an integral part of any wedding ceremony. In more recent centuries, gifts have been used in many ways when it comes to those romantic relationships that start long before there is talk of a wedding.
Today, gifts can be given from one lover to another for many reasons, including to woo someone into a first date, to confirm one's love after dating for a while, to commemorate an anniversary, or even to thank someone for a wonderful and romantic evening.

Why It Can Be Hard to Find the Right Gift

Finding the right creative romantic gift can be hard for many reasons. First, it can be simply difficult to think of ideas for buying the right gift. It can also be easy to second-guess yourself with questions such as, Is this gift really nice enough? and Will they appreciate it?
Another important reason why it can be so hard to buy the right gift is because of the consumer culture we live in. So many products are thrown our way each day that it can all feel like a big, confusing clutter. With so much advertising going on around us today, it is hard to really get a clear vision of what to buy for that special someone as a gift.

Creative Romantic Gift Ideas - 5 Ideas

Here are 5 ideas that can inspire you to find the right gift:

1. Make them a romantic photo album: If you already have a history of being together with this person, consider making for them a romantic photo album showing pictures of the good times you have had together. Or, if your relationship fairly new, try putting together pictures of nature or other experiences you have had that paint a picture of how this person makes you feel.

2. Write to him or her about your feelings: If budget is a concern, one of the most romantic things you can do for free is to write out a note or letter expressing just how this person makes you feel. A well-written, honest note is always well-received by someone who cares about you.

3. Cook them dinner: Another fun idea: cook them dinner. Of course, dinner ingredients can be very cheap or very expensive, so plan your budget accordingly. However, the relationship between food and romance is well-established, and many hearts have been won over the course of a meal prepared with love.

4. Create a gift basket full of their favorite foods: Gift baskets are very romantic. Why not make your own, or buy one filled with their favorite foods or drinks? You could even enjoy it together as a picnic lunch at your favorite romantic outdoor spot.

5. Find a gift online: If you decide to search online for the right romantic gift, be sure to set yourself a budget first. That way, if you find something you like but it is too expensive, you can easily remind yourself to move on and keep looking for something more reasonably-priced.

Follow these 5 tips for finding creative romantic gift ideas for that special person in your life.