Moving in with anyone is a big commitment to make, and the first few months can be testing, but our dating experts have put together a few tips to keep your relationship healthy and happy when you move in with your partner.
Talk
It sounds obvious, but it can be easy to go days or even weeks without properly talking to your partner. If you're struggling to talk about the small stuff in your relationship, discussing your feelings can be nigh on impossible, but bottling them up will only lead feelings of distance and resentment in your relationship.
To combat this, start by making time for each other every day. Dinner time provides a great opportunity to focus on your partner. Rather than eating with your plate on your lap in front of the TV, sit down at the table and talk about your day. Doing this regularly will help promote closeness within your relationship and make it easier to talk about serious issues when needs be.
Help each other out
Clearly no one likes doing chores, but unfortunately we all have to do them and they can be a serious bone of contention when you live with someone. Feeling like you are always the one who cleans the bathroom or washes the dishes sounds like a small gripe, but you�d be surprised how many people with otherwise happy relationships fall out over something so easily avoided.
To avoid world war three breaking out, make a list of everything you need to do and set aside time each day to do your chores together. Not only will you have a healthier relationship, but you'll also have a cleaner home.
Make an effort
It may sound a little 1940's housewife, but there's a lot to be said for a slick of lip gloss or the occasional shave. Moving in together inevitably takes away some of the excitement of seeing your partner in their underwear, but it needn't be all paint splattered jogging bottoms and spaghetti stained t-shirts.
Try to keep making the same level of effort you did when you first began your relationship. Not just appearance wise, but in your behaviour, too. Holding your partner's hand as you walk together or giving them a shoulder rub after a hard day can provide the vital intimacy needed to keep your relationship strong and stop you feeling more like siblings than lovers.
Date
It's common for people to stop dating once they move in together, but regularly dating or introducing a 'date night' can keep the spark alive in your relationship and give you opportunities to put many of the above tips into play.
You don't have to think of any wild ideas, just eating at a restaurant you haven't been to before, sampling some delicious cocktails or checking out the latest blockbuster can all be enjoyable activities to do with your partner and provide an excellent talking point.
Keep your bad habits in check
If you've moved in with a partner before, you'll know that it doesn't take long for that cute little thing your partner does to turn into an annoying habit that drives you up the wall, but newsflash. They're not the only one with irritating tendencies.
The only way to prevent this damaging your relationship is to get it out in the open. Pick a time when you're both feeling calm and receptive to give feedback, and try to keep your words and tone as neutral as possible. Playing the blame game won't get you anywhere and your partner is likely to come back with a not so complimentary assessment of your behaviour. Once you've aired your feelings, agree a compromise on said behaviour and stick to it.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
5 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Healthy After Moving In Together
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There's No Substitute For Appreciation In A Relationship
You have a partner that you planned to stay with your whole life. Are you doing your best to sustain that relationship? Would you honestly be able to say you've given it your all? Should the relationship take a bomb dive would you not feel any guilt or regret when you swear none of the dials on the control panels indicated an imminent wreck? Who wants to take the blame for the flaming wreckage of a relationship?
Who wants to be the blame for not building a strong and loving togetherness. Indeed, like Caesar and Cleopatra, some relationships are destined to fail. And this can be due to some mighty extenuating circumstances. But, just a basic level of understanding and respect can thwart the majority of partnership failures. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a relationship, and how these can be stimulated to grow into an even more exciting togetherness, is the basic need here.
To reflect on a relationship you have to figure out exactly what it is that you have. Don't start out with a list of what your relationship isn't. That's a set-up for sabotage. Find the good things. For instance, some diners can ruin a great dinner because mints weren't served afterward. So, appreciate what you have each particular blessing. Root them out, they may be hard to find, but they're there. And they may be hard to find because you don't really appreciate what you already have. And like a few parched seeds, these positive things in your life hold the promise of ever more blooms after every drought.
Health. Are your trips to the doctor few and far between? How about your significant other? Do you enjoy ease of mobility? Are you both comfortable on a nature trail or on the beach? Do you have to inject insulin everyday? Do you have to go to the hospital every so often to get your blood cleaned? If you or your partner don't have to deal with any of these issues, you are truly blessed.
Status. One day take a stroll to the nearest busy park. Take a seat and watch the people pass. You are going to see an expanse of human experience. You will see those who are better than yourselves in socioeconomic terms, and worse off than yourselves, too.
Watching this stream of humanity will give you things to think about as far as where you want to go and what you want to avoid. It will help you discern who needs help. Remember, you have no real equals, there are only those who are better off than you are and worse off than you are. You are your own guide.
Possessions. If you find yourselves lucky enough to live in a comfortable dwelling, and this is subjective, take the time to appreciate it. Look around the world. A fine mud hut overlooking a lagoon can be the symbol of having arrived as much as a condo on top of a skyscraper overlooking the Hudson in New York City. Mud hut or condo, appreciate what you have. Relax, hold your lover in your arms and enjoy what you have built together.
Accomplishments. What have you done with your life so far? How is your significant other holding up in life's endeavors? If you are an auto mechanic or a poet, a businessman or a restauranteur, you have the privilege of knowing you've contributed in your own small way to the machinations of this wonderful world. What's nice is that the more positive things you do in life, the more positive things that will be reflected back onto you. Appreciation is itself an art. Learn how to appreciate well and you will become well appreciated. By yourself, by your partner, by your world. Especially by your partner.
Who wants to be the blame for not building a strong and loving togetherness. Indeed, like Caesar and Cleopatra, some relationships are destined to fail. And this can be due to some mighty extenuating circumstances. But, just a basic level of understanding and respect can thwart the majority of partnership failures. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a relationship, and how these can be stimulated to grow into an even more exciting togetherness, is the basic need here.
To reflect on a relationship you have to figure out exactly what it is that you have. Don't start out with a list of what your relationship isn't. That's a set-up for sabotage. Find the good things. For instance, some diners can ruin a great dinner because mints weren't served afterward. So, appreciate what you have each particular blessing. Root them out, they may be hard to find, but they're there. And they may be hard to find because you don't really appreciate what you already have. And like a few parched seeds, these positive things in your life hold the promise of ever more blooms after every drought.
Health. Are your trips to the doctor few and far between? How about your significant other? Do you enjoy ease of mobility? Are you both comfortable on a nature trail or on the beach? Do you have to inject insulin everyday? Do you have to go to the hospital every so often to get your blood cleaned? If you or your partner don't have to deal with any of these issues, you are truly blessed.
Status. One day take a stroll to the nearest busy park. Take a seat and watch the people pass. You are going to see an expanse of human experience. You will see those who are better than yourselves in socioeconomic terms, and worse off than yourselves, too.
Watching this stream of humanity will give you things to think about as far as where you want to go and what you want to avoid. It will help you discern who needs help. Remember, you have no real equals, there are only those who are better off than you are and worse off than you are. You are your own guide.
Possessions. If you find yourselves lucky enough to live in a comfortable dwelling, and this is subjective, take the time to appreciate it. Look around the world. A fine mud hut overlooking a lagoon can be the symbol of having arrived as much as a condo on top of a skyscraper overlooking the Hudson in New York City. Mud hut or condo, appreciate what you have. Relax, hold your lover in your arms and enjoy what you have built together.
Accomplishments. What have you done with your life so far? How is your significant other holding up in life's endeavors? If you are an auto mechanic or a poet, a businessman or a restauranteur, you have the privilege of knowing you've contributed in your own small way to the machinations of this wonderful world. What's nice is that the more positive things you do in life, the more positive things that will be reflected back onto you. Appreciation is itself an art. Learn how to appreciate well and you will become well appreciated. By yourself, by your partner, by your world. Especially by your partner.
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Don't Let A Winning Relationship Drift Apart
Something's not quite right. An uneasy sort of dissatisfaction with your partner, with your relationship, is fluttering around the corners of your mind. A sort of malaise clouds your view and a sort of depression accompanies it. This is definitely a problem. If this is allowed to grow, you'll find your body getting out of sorts, too. You need a paradigm shift. A new way to sort through your life and appreciate it for what it is truly worth. A new way that will help you appreciate your significant other, who has helped you get to where you are today.
Every life has its negatives. The power goes out. The street floods. Friends move away. Why focus on the negative? Candles are nice. The world is so fresh smelling after a rain. You make new friends. Your life turns; your relationship with your significant other turns, too. Focus on the good turns. It's not easy.
Sometimes the bad seems so much more overwhelming compared to the good. You do have to put your mind to the good. Sometimes it is easiest to start out with small matters, matters close at hand. Something as silly as the blooming plants that you and your significant other gathered and potted last weekend, perhaps. There's success. They way you both held forth at the bridge game last week. There's success. Or something similar. Good lives are made of lots of small good things. Like children.
Children are lovely little treasures that you and your significant other made. They are growing into fine young folks. Of course, raising them is a bit more complex than planting geraniums. It took working together to make them what they are, teamwork to make them worthy and lovable souls. You and your partner may be drifting apart, but at one point you were a strong team. You depended on each other for so much that is so beneficial, so beautiful. Focus on that dependence that was actually a new way of being free. You always had each others back and that was a new kind of strength.
Just as your children are a testament to your joy in each other, look to the friendships you two have formed together. Whether it's a tight circle or a large group, it's a fantastic support resource you have built together. Bringing in friends that reflect your individual personalities is a way you came to know each other better in surprising new ways. They may be quirky, funny, odd, but friends are joys in your lives. If nothing else, they allow you to have something mutual to roll your eyes about, to chuckle over, even behind their backs.
Even in the best of relationships, things may seem to grow old or tired. And sometimes 'what ifs' and 'how comes' become too much of a focus. If things seem to be getting old, well, they're not. You may feel bored, but you'll be surprised. Look hard and you will see things are changing, and change is good. Don't abandon something just because it's changing. Take pride in the fact that you have shepherded it so well and so long. Your partner really is beautiful or you wouldn't have stayed around this long. Your partner is someone to be proud of, or you wouldn't have stuck around so long.
No long partnership is ever a failure. Again, look at all the small good things around you. It's all made up of some pretty beautiful stuff that's a testament to the worthiness and loveliness of you both. It sounds so trite when it is said aloud, 'Count your blessings.' But, do. From the smallest to the largest, count them. When you wake up in the morning, when you can't fall asleep at night, count them. And, if it suits you, figure out ways to enlarge them or build upon them. Your partner will love helping you change together, because you've been so successful together already. And, changing can be loving, too.
Best Summer Vacations For Couples
Summer is indeed the best time to spend vacation. With the sunny weather, it is the perfect time to just relax and be rejuvenated. For couples, especially for those who are working at the office full-time, they take vacations or take a leave from the office during summer as this is the best time to get a vacation. Especially with great promotions and discounts from travel operators, people take advantage of these offers and schedule vacations during summer.
Here are some great ideas for activities that couples can do during summer.
- Beach Escapade: Still an all-time favorite vacation activity, the beach does provide for days and days of fun. Whether joining beach parties, doing water sports and activities, reading a book, or simply lounging around, people do think that staying in a beach is staying in paradise. You will never notice time passing by because you get to enjoy not just the scenery and the people around, but for couples, this is a great time to bond and really get to know each other. There are so many things you can do on the beach ranging from complete relaxation to athletic water sports.
- Outdoor Sports: They say that one of the best ways for you to get to know your partner is through sports. Here you will see how competitive he is, how supportive he is, and how responsible and safety-conscious he is. Summer may be the best time where you can start engaging in a sport. There are a lot of outdoor sports available and you can choose something that the both of you are really interested in and will do have fun together. And after some competitive activities, you can jump in the pool to cool off.
- Road trip: A road trip with your loved one will be truly different from a road trip with your friends. While it may be equally fun, the moments and the conversations inside the car will be different. Ranging from serious ones, to small talk to just kidding around, a road trip may present a different perspective and show the other side of your significant other.
- Backpacking tour: You may spend a month or two in Europe and have a less expensive tour. Maybe do an 'Amazing Race' minus the competition, and get to enjoy a simple vacation with extra special moments. Backpacking allows people to explore the wilderness and get good exercise at the same time.
What is most important in spending vacation with your loved one is that you get to enjoy take care of each other no matter what your situation may present. Traveling allows you to grow as it exposes you to different things and cultures around the world or even in your own country. So apart from the laughter and the fun, make sure you bring with you the romance that you share and the new things that you discover about your partner. Make this a very special summer that you and your loved one will look forward to year after year.
Here are some great ideas for activities that couples can do during summer.
- Beach Escapade: Still an all-time favorite vacation activity, the beach does provide for days and days of fun. Whether joining beach parties, doing water sports and activities, reading a book, or simply lounging around, people do think that staying in a beach is staying in paradise. You will never notice time passing by because you get to enjoy not just the scenery and the people around, but for couples, this is a great time to bond and really get to know each other. There are so many things you can do on the beach ranging from complete relaxation to athletic water sports.
- Outdoor Sports: They say that one of the best ways for you to get to know your partner is through sports. Here you will see how competitive he is, how supportive he is, and how responsible and safety-conscious he is. Summer may be the best time where you can start engaging in a sport. There are a lot of outdoor sports available and you can choose something that the both of you are really interested in and will do have fun together. And after some competitive activities, you can jump in the pool to cool off.
- Road trip: A road trip with your loved one will be truly different from a road trip with your friends. While it may be equally fun, the moments and the conversations inside the car will be different. Ranging from serious ones, to small talk to just kidding around, a road trip may present a different perspective and show the other side of your significant other.
- Backpacking tour: You may spend a month or two in Europe and have a less expensive tour. Maybe do an 'Amazing Race' minus the competition, and get to enjoy a simple vacation with extra special moments. Backpacking allows people to explore the wilderness and get good exercise at the same time.
What is most important in spending vacation with your loved one is that you get to enjoy take care of each other no matter what your situation may present. Traveling allows you to grow as it exposes you to different things and cultures around the world or even in your own country. So apart from the laughter and the fun, make sure you bring with you the romance that you share and the new things that you discover about your partner. Make this a very special summer that you and your loved one will look forward to year after year.
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5 Things That Prevent People From Finding Love
You may have a friend or two who are single right now. While we know the situation that they have gone through or are going through, sometimes a little nudge from us still doesn't seem enough to get them on their feet to find love.
Here are the some of the common reasons why some people can't seem to find the love of their life. Whether they are consciously aware of it or not, you might know a friend who may have some of the following symptoms:
1. Work: With work hours becoming longer and managers becoming more demanding, a lot of people are spending late hours at the office or bringing home their work with them. Some people even enjoy the challenges of work and will opt to stay later for their own career advancement and enjoyment of work.
However, with the high demands of the work that they need to accomplish, people are finding less time to go out and socialize. Or if they were in relationships, not having time for their significant other proves to be detrimental to their relationship, thus, some relationships break down because there is just not enough 'quality time' that couples share together.
2. Living in a small town: In a small town, mingling with people of their certain age bracket may be difficult. They say that proximity is important in finding and meeting new people, and if the people in the area are limited, chances will be slim as well. Fact is, if you live in a town with limited population, then you have less people to meet.
3. Not trying new things: As it has been said, if you go to office and head straight home, there is a minimal chance that somebody will just pop out of your car window or your fridge. One must truly go out and socialize. And if there are hobbies and activities that interest them, they should try it out in order to meet available people with the same interests.
4. Family: Family must indeed truly come first; but if at times that the financial and time demands in taking care of the responsibilities are home becomes too large, it then takes the whole time of the person, not to mention work as well.
5. Religion: Demands at church or at a certain congregation may limit a person's time in finding and meeting other people. While it may help that some do find their love interest at church, others who fall for someone belonging to another religion or sect may no longer pursue not continue a relationship with him or her because of their differences in religion.
Generally, giving someone your time and attention means giving that person your love. So if you are really interested in finding that love that you would hold on and cherish the rest of your life, do find time to find that person. Better yet, start becoming that person worthy of love and soon enough, you need not find him or her, but because of whom you've become love will find you.
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10 Techniques For Relationship Tightening In 5 Minutes
If you are worried about your married life or realize that it is boring, we have 10 techniques that you can do easily just 5 minutes a day to help tighten you and your partner's relationship. Then your sweet day comes back again for your long love and relationship.
Send e-mail to each other: This is the easy and fast way to tell your feeling to the one you love to tell how you are satisfied or pleased of whatever he did for you. For example, you may tell him that you really love the way he helps you do housework and tell that without him you couldn't finish things in time, etc. Surely he'll be proud and also pleased to help you next time.
Say love by mobile phone: Call him or send him the voice mail that you love him or miss him. This is the small thing but can greatly make you and him smile all day.
Leave a short note: Don't forget to write and leave a short note for him before he goes out to work. You may put it in his bag. This definitely makes him surprised, happy, and be more energetic to work.
Sweeten your morning: Create your sweet environment in the morning by making coffee, or cooking food for your beloved. It is the start of the sweet good day.
Have lunch together: If you are not busy, you may cook the lunch by yourself and bring to surprise him at his workplace. And when he is stressful, try to ask him out for his favorite dish and then he'll be more relaxed and happier.
Help each other: You may help each other do any tasks like doing housework. Though this task belongs to the wife, but the husband may help by washing the dishes, etc. It's a basic activity but can help both of you feel happy and be more in a close relationship.
Send each other a message: After your beloved left, do not forget to sweeten your love and share the feeling of how you care him by messaging him that you miss him or tell him to take care.
Give a special gift: Buy something he wants without concerning about any reasons or occasions, and then your ordinary day becomes special.
Send an E-Card to each other: Make your day romantic or fun by sending each other an E-Card. You may tell your feeling or your memory of how happy you are being with him.
Say love every time: No matter what time or where it is, saying that you love each other is the romantic way to help both of you love each other much more and this can absolutely help tighten your relationship.
Note to realize that your beloved is the special person you should always care for and love. No matter how busy or stressful you are, try to spend at least 5 minutes a day to sweeten love to each other and your married life will not be boring but happy forever.
Unique Gift Ideas To Win A Woman's Heart
Finding unique gifts for a woman is as challenging as understanding one. Most men find it hard to select even a traditional item for a special lady, how much more if what needed is unique? So If you are a man who is looking for a unique gift for a woman, you have to exert more effort in searching and presenting the gift if you want to win her heart.
Let's discuss how do you begin. Before anything else, the first thing you need to keep in mind is the personality of your recipient. What are her likes? You have to know a few things about her so that you can think of a gift that she will appreciate. Additionally, think of her hobby, pastime, or lifestyle as these can also make sense.
Where to find unique gifts for women? It can be a bit tricky to find unique gift items for women, but the best places are antique stores and online stores. You may also look for imported items from other countries in stores that specialize such kind. By doing searching online, you don't need to leave your home just to pick up and pay for a present. There are lots of sources you can find by simply browsing the web. You can visit different websites selling goods that you may find interesting and unique, which your recipient might not yet owned.
Unique gifts may can also be romantic. Since women are naturally romantic at heart, you can think of common things that they love but present them in a unique or stylish way. You may consider a perfume in her favorite scent, filled in a perfume bottle with her engraved name or initials. Another option could be her favorite flowers organized in a nice basket with some extra items that can pamper her. Or, you may consider a personalized jewelry with her engraved name or initials. Custom charm bracelets can make unique options as well.
Consider adding a personal touch on the gift. This way, you can put distinction even if it was bought at a cheap price. You may consider adding a nice note card and handwrite it with your message for your recipient. A few personal touches can make a gift truly unique, considering the thought that you made it just for her.
Another way to come up with unique gift that she will appreciate is to think of her profession. She must be a career woman, and a right gift could mean something that she can use for her work. There are lots of work-related gift ideas that you can find in the market today. If you are looking for unique options, don't worry because there are plenty to choose from. For a career woman, you may consider unique business gifts like business tote bags with her embroidered name, engraved business card holders, monogrammed leather-bound journals, personalized desk clocks or desk picture frames, and etc. Through personalization, it is not impossible to create a unique present that sure to win a woman's heart!
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